Word of the Week: Resilient
- re·sil·ient /riˈzilyənt/ (of a substance or object) Able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed. (of a person or animal) Able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.
Every Sunday, no matter what, an annoying local yocal, brings up a dozen rolls from our local bakery to the staff working. And the Sundays that I work – which is every other weekend – I try my best to not take one.
Today was no exception. The good choices I opted to put into my belly this early AM was a small plastic basket of grape tomatoes. And drank some watermelon punch fruit water (0 calories, 0 sugars) and had a cup of beef broth. I have a yummy avocado for a snack later.
Yesterday I left work a little early to make a final jaunt down to my mom’s with the kin who were still present. We were celebrating an early 80th birthday for my local uncle. But before leaving work, a lot of unwanted stress occurred and I just wasn’t in the mood to be around people who didn’t get my line of work. Or even be sociable. Nor was I in the mood to be ignored. Again.
But I went. And they did not disappoint me in being ignored. In fact, it fueled me to continue to be a stronger version of myself: a more resilient type of chick.
I left within two hours upon arriving. The departure was awesome. I did not have to give any fake hugs or fake good-byes. I just stepped out of the patio door and waved my arms in the air and said a few choice words of safe travels and whatnot and off I went to my beloved homestead ten miles north on the Dakota prairie.
Immediately upon entering my cozy apartment, I cranked the AC …. Turned on the boob tube and ran the water for a long overdue bubble bath. I don’t what it is about taking a bath but it is so relaxing. And now that my hips are smaller, my legs are smaller and my belly is smaller… it’s so comfortable to fit properly into the porcelain tub.
And for clarification, let me explain what I mean “to be ignored.” On the onset, I am acknowledged as a living, breathing, human. Always. However, I am ignored in the sense that I have a voice, an opinion, an actual thought. I am ignored as in no one asks me anything personal. Not “how have you been Amy?” ….or “Do you like your job,” or anything related to my actual life living as Amy Susan Jane Petrik.
Nothing in the forms of …. What’s your favorite TV show? …. Do you follow current events? And no current events are ever discussed. Period. I am excluding my mom and Aunt because we always talk about that gunk. I’m referring to the offspring my mother birthed prior to me being born July 17, 1967.
Never has any one asked me how my lap band process has been going. My struggles, my fears, nothing. Or anything else regarding my surgery. Before or after. Ever. Ever. Ever. To me, that is being ignored. My opinion is never taken into consideration. About anything. Ever. Nor am I included in any type of planning. Rarely I am ever told either unless it comes out accidently. My feelings are never taken into consideration. Ever.
I am only TALKED TO. And about. But none of them TALK TO ME. Do you get it now???? So those of you who continue to pish-posh me when I tell you how ignored I am from the said above. This is how it really is. I do not know how else I can say it.
It is an extremely lonely and awful and hurtful feeling to have. Every. Single. Time.
In years past, when I knew any of them were coming “home,” I’d make arrangements in whatever city I had lived in and got time off from whatever gig I had. And then I’d sit waiting patiently like a dog for its owner to come home. But I have never been good enough. Or at least that is the feeling I have been feeling for years and years. And years. With the exception of this year.
dys·func·tion ….abnormal or unhealthy interpersonal behavior or interaction within a group <family dysfunction>
With that being out in the open, now you all know. I have no reason to lie or make any of this shit up. It is what it is. But this is the end. Of me venting. About all of it. I will continue to live life as I see fit and poo-poo negative nay-sayers or people who make it their choice to not include me in their lives. And if you want to know something my family, I shall direct you to my only living parent. She knows it all. And I shall just concentrate on my own.
Girl Scout promise.
Perhaps you all can see how much I truly appreciate, enjoy, love, honor, and feel forever blessed to have those of you who ON PURPOSE pick me as your friend/confidante.
Regardless, life goes on and please continue to make good choices. Peace out. asp