Tasted Like Cardboard

Tried these high protein chips. Oh. My. Narly-ness. They were gross. 😝

But it supplied me with 33 grams of my 60 grams of protein I need daily since my surgery 57 days ago.Β πŸ˜·πŸ›ŒπŸ‘Β @ Bed Bath & Beyond


Oh The Trauma…

My doctor visit didn’t go well. I’ve gained 30 pounds of fluids. 21 pounds of fluids since Nov. 20. I barely can move my legs and it’s difficult to get into my car.

It’s not just fluid retention but sharp pain in my legs, lower stomach and now my face. I got more blood work done at the visit. My doctor said with the intensity of the trauma my body has gone through this is why it’s retaining so much fluid.

The other option is far worse she said, which is death. I said I will take walking in quicksand for now.

She put me on a high dose of a pee pill. My legs need to be elevated a lot higher now and absolutely no salt. I also had to buy a scale [see photo to the left] I am to call her on Monday with my daily weight totals.

Let the pee games begin!

Tending to Heal

Today the magnitude of what all went down in 2018 — health wise including my year-long exhaustion that I had been feeling has literally caught up with me this afternoon. I still haven’t cried. I haven’t yelled or really have shown any type of emotion other than swearing like a Sailor at times.

For the past 6 days I’ve been dealing with extreme edema in my lower belly, legs & feet. Tomorrow I’m heading over to my doctor’s office for a quick visit to see if I can get any sort of relief. I know my surgeon’s office doesn’t want me to be on any type of meds but something has got to make me feel less like walking in quicksand and back to feeling normal. It’s been 43 days since my surgery and I’ve never experienced this much tightness in my lower body. I also do not like to feel “heavy.”

I have also been Googling foods that help reduce swelling due to edema. Radishes popped up and so did avocados. Both I love. Both are in my fridge. I just NEED to stop using SALT on my food. Better said than it actually happening, but seriously, I am trying.

Doomsday: October 23, 2018

Many hours after my emergency surgery.


Full look of my incision.


Getting bandaged up by two nurses in my hospital room.


The RNs are trying to get my drainage tube adjusted correctly into the side of my stomach.


All bandaged up.


Exhausted, cold and super thirsty but got ice chips instead.

Dazed & Confused

Since my last post nine days ago I have pretty much been contemplating on what to blog about so I’ve pretty much just concentrated on healing and sleeping; and doing not much of anything else, Today I have a little more energy than I have had in the past couple of days.

For starters, I gave up all pain related medications over a week ago. And when I feel exhausted, I simply walk up to my childhood bedroom and fall into a deep deep slumber. Sitting up from a laying position still really hurts my stomach, my side and weirdly my hips. While in the hospital I learned a new way to get up without hurting much of my body. Still aches though.

I know I’m still supposed to be in Stage 3 of the 4 stages of eating, however earlier in the week we dabbled in eating some small pork chunks that were super small and soft. I also chewed each piece so it essentially was pureed when I did swallow. I also had some cooked carrots, cooked onions and potatoes all cooked like with a roast with gravy. Oh my god, it was heavenly eating that. All 4 ounces of it.

There is still a part of me that is still stuck on October 18th when the pain first initially struck me and in those first 5 days, a lot of the memories are there but I am guessing I am suppressing them for a reason. What that reason is, I really am clueless. The last thing I recall was getting loaded up in an ambulance and it being so uncomfortable in the ambulance and I was so cold. I do not recall anything else except someone helping me into a hospital gown. Next thing I knew I was awake in my hospital room with a ginormous zipper belly full of staples and in a lot of pain.

Fast forward to today, November 11th…. I have an appointment with my surgeon on November 20th in Sioux Falls and then I learn when I can return to my job that I have not been to since I left an hour into it on October 18th. I was approved for short-term disability and also have 12 weeks of FMLA.

But…I still feel dazed and confused. Like what actually happened? I do know that answer. So does pretty much everyone else as my mom and I have retold the story numerous times. But I guess what I cannot grasp is knowing had I not returned to the ER on October 23rd, I would have died from the perforation in my stomach per my surgeon.

Frankly, I’ve been so exhausted to put much thought into accepting that nugget. Death. And that is where I stand right now. I am stuck between being dazed and confused.

Why am I so insecure????

RIVERFEST, downtown Sioux Falls, SD on August 18, 2018

I am not seeking compliments. I’m not. At. All. But today on my 2nd break, I was outside enjoying the gorgeous cooler weather. When it was my time to go in, I made my way to the doors and I saw someone say something to me. She made a reference with her hands and said, “You’re getting skinnier every time I see you.” And then I said, “Really?” in utter disbelief as I patted my belly. And she said, “Oh we all have that.” … She made another sweep of her hands and said, “You keep getting smaller and smaller both front and to the sides.”

I haven’t been weighed since June 29th at my doctor’s office. I know I’m still shrinking by the clothes I’ve been putting on and taking off immediately because they are literally falling off my body. I am curious though. But I also don’t see myself as getting skinnier and skinnier.

I see a lot, no, a ton of saggy, loose skin from my upper arms, from my once triple chin, from my thighs…. and finally from my belly area where I feel the most insecure.

This is not the exact “style” that I wear but I bought all of my Spanx from Catherine’s. They, too, are getting a lot bigger for me in size wise. But they are extremely expensive and I am making them work.

Thankfully since 2012, I found several Spanx-like tank tops that I wear over my bra but under my clothes to hold everything in neatly and smoothly. I wear them all the time with the exception of bedtime, swimming and in the bath/shower. Otherwise every day since my surgery on June 27, 2012, I’ve sported one.

Today I wore a shirt that has hung in my closet since January of this year. When I bought it, it was too small so I was hoping by becoming of summer it’d fit. Today was the first time I put it on since January. It literally hung off my shoulders. But I looked in the mirror and while it was too big, the way it fell made it look like a long tunic. So I wore some black leggings underneath… and got several compliments on the “outfit.”

So a week from now, I’ll be celebrating Labor Day weekend in the Black Hills again. I had so much fun and relaxation last Labor Day when we went. However, majority of my summer clothes including my jean shorts are all too big for me. I am hoping that it may be a little cooler there than hot so I do have some smaller sizes to try out. However, this is the last time I’ll be able to wear any of these clothes. Yes, it’s all good news and seriously I AM VERY HAPPY that I am still shrinking and will soon need new clothes but I love the clothes I currently have. They are trendy and cute.Β Such worries eh?

Is anyone watching Castle Rock on Hulu? Let’s discuss.




Before Wheat Belly…

Found this puffed up version of myself and my Northern State College friend Susan from Sioux Falls’s Side Walk Festival in September 2016.

It’s always amusing to me that when I find an “old” photo during my weight loss journey, that I clearly recall dressing for this day.

This was the first time since 1986 that I had seen my college friend face to face. It was a somewhat chilly September morning and she was picking me up from Canton where she was visiting her parents.

As you can see, I had my extremely short pixie hair cut (which I will NEVER go back to) and the shirt I was wearing was a men’s Oxford button up that I had bought a thrift store…. and we just stopped at a vendor booth that was giving out free wine slushie samples.

It was a fantastic day spent with a good friend but when I found this photo this morning, I couldn’t believe how well I thought I looked two years ago. I will always be forever grateful I learned about the Wheat Belly lifestyle and took the direction in my life to go that route and lose the inflammation in my face and body.

Remember everyone, it’s all about making good choices.